What Made Me Cry Yesterday

I have had the worst attitude this week. Despite writing a post about balance on Tuesday (mostly with the selfish hope that it would help boost my spirits), I have been in a really bad headspace. I’ve been quiet around family, short in replies to texts and… I totally snapped at one of my co-workers. Ugh, I feel awful just admitting that.

The worst part is that I don’t really know what put me in such a bad mood. The fam is good, friends are great, work is fine… plus, didn’t I just say that the gym was helping me feel better!? The only thing I can think of is that I’ve been stressed about money. Big freaking surprise, right? But something has been going on that I haven’t written about lately…

Do you remember when the CRA sent me a letter asking me to pay them back $497.32 from my 2010 tax return? Which I did but then I also faxed in a bunch of proof as to why I shouldn’t have been re-assessed? Well, that was close to 2 months ago. Between then and now, I filed my biggest tax return to date. And what I didn’t tell you guys is that a few days later the CRA sent me a letter asking for more information. Why? Because my 2010 claim wasn’t closed yet, and the same reason they re-assessed me that year is what they wanted more information on this year.

So, there I was: the excited girl who had planned out the next 5 months of her financial life, suddenly left with the possibility of not getting her $497.32 back and maybe also losing a huge chunk of the next tax return she had planned on paying off her credit card with. To say I have been panicking would be an understatement. Would I survive without the money? Of course. But I had already shown myself my credit card debt free date and let myself feel the excitement that I imagined would come with it. And then I could feel it being taken away from me…

…until Tuesday night. On Tuesday night, I signed into my online banking and found that $499.73 had been deposited into my account. It was exciting to see but I didn’t know what it was for. Had the CRA accepted my proof and paid me back? Or did they reject it all and, after a re-assessment, think this was all I could get for 2011? I had no idea. (And it didn’t help my bad mood.)

Not having the paperwork in my hand to explain it, I was dying to talk to someone over the phone. So, first thing yesterday morning, I dialed their 1-800 number and heard the news: Your 2010 claim was closed yesterday and it looks like they accepted your proof and paid you back. If your 2011 claim was about the same thing, I imagine it won’t be too far behind.

I’m generally a pretty positive person but it has been so hard to think that I could prove something to the government. That what I sent in was enough. That writing a nice letter and not harassing them would actually work. I had been prepared to fight, if it hadn’t worked! And so, it took a minute to sink in…

They accepted my proof. They paid me back. And I’m going to get my full tax return. I don’t know when… but it’s coming. And when it does, every penny of it is going on my credit card debt.

Guess how much I’ll have left, after?


Maybe even a little less. And my new credit card debt free goal is June 8, 2012. Exactly one year from when I came back completely maxed out.

So yes, I cried yesterday. But just a few tears. And I’ve been smiling ever since.

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