Need Another Holiday | the words of a working mum with a travel obsession

A Lesson From 2015: Life Goes On

And back to work I went.

They say all good things come to an end, and so it was, in the final quarter of this year, that I saw the last day of my year of maternity leave come and go. It was bittersweet.

Being off work with my baby was lovely, but the year brought with it more pain than I could have imagined. First, there was the aftermath of giving birth. Then there was the sorrow of my Nan passing away. We still haven’t really mourned her, because her death was so swiftly followed by the heartache of watching someone I care about get horribly hurt by someone she loved. We still can’t believe it.

I’ve also had to try to understand depression this year, because its darkness came and cast a shadow far too close to home. I realised how helpless you feel when you see that black curtain fall over someone you love.

And so the crying has been frequent in 2015, though the tales of many of those tears are not mine to tell. Not yet, anyway. But this isn’t a post seeking sympathy – it’s a post about how life goes on. Because through all of this, life did go on. It gurgled and grew and crawled and clapped. It laughed and learned new skills. It curled up in my arms when I needed comfort. Yes, life looked up at me every morning (and often through the night) with blue eyes, smiling brightly.

Without my son (and my nephew who is only 8 weeks older), I’d never have made it through this last 12 months, which is why leaving my baby to go back to work has been such a wrench.

He is a life lesson that has taught me so much. I’ve learned that you can still laugh when you feel like the end of the world is nigh; I’ve learned that going to Greece en masse with three generations of your family is the best kind of therapy; and I’ve learned that when shit happens, (sometimes literally), you have to just wash your hands and crack on.

But my son has also taught me that I need to be more than just his mum. So although the return to work has been difficult, it has also been good for me, I think. I needed to burst the new mum bubble I’ve been living in so I could just allow motherhood to become a part of my normal life.

My commute is a killer at times, but that’s ok because now we’re living so close to my family it means Holiday Baby spends his days with them – including his cousin with whom he plays and laughs constantly. Watching them together is pure joy.

They teach each other about fun and friendship every day. But as they throw their food around gleefully at lunchtime and take wobbly steps while they play chase in the hall, I’ve started to understand what’s really going on; they’re learning how to live. And because of that, it’s easy to find the strength to keep moving forward.

It’s like I said, life goes on.

Tags: Holiday Baby, life, motherhood


About the Author

Clare A part-time traveller with a penchant for European city breaks, I adore good food, good wine and good company. I love visiting new places, and I love seeing the familiar through new eyes. Wherever I go, I hunt for five star luxury and do my best to get as close to it as possible – with a three star price tag.