My First… Time I Met My DaughterMental Parentals
This week, we have Sezz from the Dear Daughter blog, sharing her experiences of the Adoption process and becoming a mother to a beautiful daughter. You can follow their journey on Twitter at @AdoptingSezz. Here we go…
I first met my daughter when she was 5 years old. We’d been trying for a baby for some years, tried IVF which was hideous and didn’t work and soon after decided to adopt. We’d been approved to adopt a child 0-5 years old and had felt an older child might be better for us. Very soon after being approved as adopters we were matched with our 5 year old and two weeks after Matching Panel we met her for the first time.
“You can have a hug because you’re beautiful”, said my daughter on our first meeting. I felt the same. We’d seen photos and a video of her and she of us but meeting in real life was very different. And very strange because with us at this amazing moment in our life were two social workers and the foster parents. I felt I couldn’t be myself with all these other eyes on me.
We had left home earlier than we needed but didn’t want to be late so we ended up sitting in the car down the road for half an hour. But then 10am came. We met our Family Finding Social Worker outside the foster carer’s and nervously walked up to the front door. I was so nervous so can’t imagine how my daughter felt. Inside, the social worker took us into the lounge and introduced us to her. My first impression was ‘she’s gorgeous’. A few minutes later my OH leant over to me and he whispered “she’s gorgeous”. She was a little shy to begin with but that didn’t last long and she was happy to come over to us. We watched the DVD over and over we had prepared that gave her tour of our home, and she pointed out things she liked. I’d taken a little toy with us, which had appeared in the DVD and introductory book and she quickly spotted it in my handbag. She loved it and beamed a big gorgeous smile when I gave it to her. She then showed us the book we’d made and showed us her bedroom. We had our picture taken, the three of us and by then 50 minutes had gone by so quickly and it was time to leave. We both got hugs goodbye which I didn’t expect and my eyes nearly watered. Wow! That little girl was my new daughter. Introductions in adoption last around 10-14 days and you all spend a little more time every day with each other, with our daughter coming to our house in the second week. It’s bloomin’ exhausting and very emotional particularly the last day of Intros which is Moving In Day.
It’s was a bizarre morning and quite a strange process really when I think back about it. There was our daughter, but still living with someone else, her personality already forming, lots of other firsts been and gone. But I knew we’d have more firsts to come that we as a family could share – first tooth out, first time she rode a bike and first time at ballet to name a few. So, after meeting our daughter, we went home and carried on as normal – well as normal as you can be when you’re just about to begin life as a family.